How BDSM can help save your relationship

While 50 Shades of gray have brought BDSM to the mainstream, many couples regularly practice lifestyles related to sexual practices such as dominance, slavery and sadomasochism. But is it healthy to add a little spanking and submission to your sex life?

Stephanie Hunter Jones, a certified sex therapist, works with couples to introduce BDSM into their dorms — and she said the Cuddle that she has seen how practice fully revives alliances. Dr. Jonse said «It absolubly makes a change for damaged relationships».

Dr. Jones spoke with the Cuddle about his work, what effects BDSM can have on relationships and how «vanilla » pairs can start to become a little crazy.

Cuddle: What effects can BDSM have on relationships?

Jones: For couples who are already involved in it, they are no different than any other couple. You have the same worries. BDSM is an expression of the very uniqueness of sexuality, and I always find that our BDSM partners are very blessed because they have found a couple that is very suitable for them.

But I also help vanilla couples introduce BDSM into their relationships, sometimes to save their unions. I recently had a couple coming in recently and the woman was crying. She said she was no longer attracted to her husband, and she thought her marriage was over.

You’ve been married about ten years. So I met them individually and found that their relationship was a total power struggle. He ruled it in the total relationship. So I gave them assignments where they would put it in the bedroom «Dom «. And she saved her marriage completely. And they’ve become lifestylers.

I often prescribes BDSM for power struggles or control issues. Or, if a partner has had a bad sexual experience in the past, I prescribe it as a way to give this partner a certain sense of control.

So how can a married couple who has never tried to enter it organically in their relationship?

There are many videos online. I’d like to check this out and do research. I also often refer my clients to DOM and let them show the DOM the safe way to play.

You can have a session with a Dom showing the strings and various types of exercises that can be done in the bedroom.

Here is a scenario: a person — who plays the Dom (the person in power) may presuppose to be the CEO of a company, and the submissive can be an employee.

There is absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to BDSM. People think it’s just as painful. But in reality, BDSM covers everything from playful role playing games to spanking to tie the partner and Temieren with a feather.

You can go as hard as you want, as long as it’s friendly. But you don’t need that either. You can always just wet your toes in-and that will still be an erotic energy level to play sex with your partner.

How can couples stay safe — and consensual — while dealing with BDSM?

The BDSM game is always friendly. I work with the couple to create a safe word, that is, when one of them says that the word that continues must stop. No questions asked.

I want you to talk ahead. The played scene should not be organic until you have done enough to know the limits of the other. If you’re starting out, you’ll have to discuss the scene in advance and explain what’s going to happen.

How should a partner address the issue of testing BDSM?

I would recommend going to a positive sex therapist and talking around. Or if you feel comfortable enough, I would only talk to your partner — and I would recommend starting slowly.

Say, ‘ I’m interested in getting a little playful in the bedroom – maybe some role play or spanking’.

I am a great defender to get help out of the room. I think sex therapists are incredibly helpful. They can really help you make a good start.

Have you ever seen any negative effects of the introduction of BDSM in your relationship?

If a partner uses BDSM to injure himself or another person, then that is not his traditional BDSM relationship. Otherwise, I don’t think there is any harm that will introduce you at all.

Some of my more mature couples laugh at first when I give them BDSM exercises to do, but when I get informed, they love the experience. They say they was felling like they were in highschool again.

They felt it was something new and unique to do in the bedroom, and it is playful and fun. Do not be afraid to get out of comfort zone. You and your partner can completely change your relationship.